Fact.

Mar4

I have been tagged by the fabulous The Foster Effect to answer a few questions, and recieve the Versatile Blogger award! *bows politely*

Questions, questions, questions…

If the idea of beauty could be contained in an object, an animal, or a geographical location, what or where would it be?
Oh geez. You weren’t going to make these easy were you. Here. My happy place

If you could have afternoon tea with anyone currently living, who would you choose?
Can it be afternoon hot chocolate? I’m not really keen on tea. I would invite all of you!

Choose 3 songs you would find appropriate for a peaceful evening under the stars with someone special.
I’ve never really been one for chosing songs, especially not soppy ones. I’d just stick the radio on!

What is your favorite clothing material to feel against your skin?
Man. Can that be a clothing material?

If you were held for ransom, what would be a proper starting point for your price?
A penny. No one would pay anything more. I’m not worth stealing.

Name a movie role for which your personality would be a near perfect fit.
None of them. I’m unique

If I were to whisper a short sentence in your ear, what might I say to turn you on?
Any of your wonderful poems would do the trick

A day of pleasantries and relaxation for you might include…?
A manicure. I never have manicures.

What was the last book you read?
The Madam X School of Sex by Jinx Jamison

What is the worst autocorrect disaster you can recall?
I’m not sure, I’m pretty good at correcting it quickly

Name one thing you feel you can contribute to the world before you are gone.
I contribute to the world every day through my job

Now for the versatile blogger award I have to tell you 7 things about myself..

I love memes. Until I get tagged in the same one too many times
I am a chocoholic. My diet is chocolate and toast. (not together!)
I not longer have a bedroom. It is now a floordrobe.
I am rubbish at writing things about myself
I can happily stay in bed all weekend. And pretty much have.
I catch every cold and cough in existance.
I am a cosmo girl.

If you haven’t had this award, I hand it onto you

The Beast

Feb19

If this meme were an animal…

I was tagged by the gorgeous @SAHDandproud in this beast of a meme.
So I eagerly made a start at 1am. Then, half way though, it vanished

Now, I’ve been tagged by the lovely @notjustamummy1. So that means twice as many questions.

Beast of a Beast meme.

So here we go. Brace youself!

There are some rules..
1.You must post the rules
2.Post 12 fun facts about yourself in the blog post
3.Answer the questions the tagger has set for you in their post and then create 12 new questions for the fellow bloggers you plan to tag
4.Tag 12 people and link to them on your blog
5.Let them know you tagged them

1.
Sorted

2.
Fun facts? Now that depends what you call fun doesn’t it

* My whole life is one big routine. On Sundays, I have sex all day and go to Byron. Once I’m stuck in a routine, I’m not changing it.
*I’m a Hollyoaks addict. I will watch it all week, then the omnibus on Saturdays… and Sunday.
*I am amazed each day if my blog even manages to get one view
*I cannot do cartwheels or headstands
*I’m trying to cut down on my twitter addiction
*I’m a bit of a perfectionist at times
*I can happily stay in bed all weekend (and do most of them!)
*I hate strange foods. I have the worst eating habbits possible.
*I love my friends to pieces
*I hate arguing
*I’m a complete chocoholic. To an extreme.
*Diet coke addict

3.
SAHDand prouds Questions!

1. If you wanted to be in any band, ever, which one would it be?
Spice Girls! Who wouldn’t want to be in there? I think they were missing a ‘Slutty Spice’ That could be me!

2. What’s the most useless thing that you’ve bought while being a parent?
A bottle warmer. Never, ever used it. Still in the packaging. Everything just gets shoved in the microwave. Naughty me.

3. Who would your ideal date be, if you could swing such a thing.
You! *points at your face*

4. What’s the sexiest item of clothing you own? The one thing that makes you feel shminky.
One? ONE?! Erm…This

5. And the least.
My pink fluffy dressing gown with brown spots. Not Sexy.

6. If you only follow one person on Twitter, who would it be?
@SAHDandproud of course!

7. Do you have a pet name for your other half’s, or for those men included in this tag, your own, penis. If so, what is it?
Hehe! No pet name. I feel like it needs one now though! Generally, it’s ‘cock’.

8. In five words, describe your mum.
Dangerous question! I don’t know.

9. Best place you’ve ever been on a holiday type thing to.
Dalyan! Just because of the lovely men I met there

10. Have you ever been to Belgium?
No. I’d have to get a map just to tell you where it is!

11. If your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard then what flavour milkshake would it be?
Chocolate. Always. I don’t even like milkshakes

12. Which newsreader is, as one might say, a bit of alright?
Russel Howard. [Russel Howards Good News] .. Other than that, I can’t name any!

Not Just A Mummys Questions

1. What is your earliest childhood memory?
My sister pushing me in the swing in the garden, she was pushing me too high and I didn’t like it but I couldn’t get out. I was crying and shouting for my mum to make her stop. My sister was laughing. My mum was laughing. Instead of getting me out, she took a photo.

2. Do you have any pets, if so what are there names, if not what would you have?
Back on the farm we have a horse called Tommy. He’s a Shire crossed with a thoroughbred and very pretty

3. If you won the lottery tomorow, what would be the first thing you buy?
This of course depends on how much I’ve won! Wouldn’t get very far with a fiver. I’d probably start with chocolate.

4. Zombies are taking over…name only 4 people you would save
Shit Zombies, you’re expecting me to save other people? *already legged it*

5. How long have you been blogging and what inspired you to start?
I started this blog in November. I was inspired by all the mummy and daddy bloggers on my twitter and wanted to join in the fun!

6. Tipple of choice?
White wine. I never thought I would ever say that.

7. Describe your perfect night out (money no object, dead people and celebs allowed)
Paris with Mr MM. One day we’ll get there.

8.Which part of the world would you prefer to live?
I love the part I’m in right now

9. If you could change any part of your body for free with no risk of dying, infection or anything that would reduce your life in anyway what would have done (go wild im not just talking surgery)
I’d get a nose job, and a boob job, and my dodgy back sorted, and a tan. And longer eyelashes. And slightly longer hair. And no roots. I’d be barbie basically. Good thing I don’t have any money..

10. Which countries have you visited and where would you like to go
Visited America, Turkey, Cyprus, Germany, Greece… Would love to visit Paris!

11. What is your fave song or album?
I don’t have one really. I love Adele’s album, and Katy Perrys

Which era would you choose to live in and why?
1960′s. I’d love to be a proper housewife. I’d start the sex revolution

3 and a half/ 4/ 5

Sorry, I’m cheating a bit here. I think it would be cruel to tag more people as everyones been tagged and I fear for tagging twice! Rules are made to be broken

First

Feb13

The ever so gorgeousness that is @blubirdsunshine has tagged me in the new meme that is making its rounds – Firsts.

So now I am going to divulge the scary information, about the first experiences of my life.

My First Boyfriend

Now then this depends on what you’re calling a boyfriend doesn’t it. There’s the ones you have when you were ickle. No wait, no one wanted me when I was ickle. Kiss chase had no chasing!*gets the violins out* So I shall pick secondary school boyfriend.

He was a friend of a friend. We all thought he was gay. Up til this day, I am still quite sure he will turn out gay. As will a lot of people. He lived a 30 minute drive away from me, and at 13, without a car and lack of public transport, I think I saw him twice in the 3 months we ‘dated’. The most we did was hold hands. He wrote me love letters, and even sent me a school photo of himself. The boys I was at school with drew on the photo. I burned the letters. I wish I’d kept them now. I never wrote back to him. I’m just not really one for dating.

First Person You Kissed

When I was 14 I went on holiday with a friend and her parents. We met two boys. I would love to say that we had a fantastic holiday romance and it was fantastic, but it wasn’t like that. My friend was the skinny tanned one, and well, I was just white with no tits. So she pulled the older brother and I was stuck with the slightly younger one. We weren’t interested. After the holiday the family invited me and my friend to their house for a weekend. Looking back, letting us go to some strangers house for a weekend at 14 is slightly perculiar. But still. So when in rome, or worthing as it happened, in bed with this boy, and he shoved his tongue down my throat. Lovely. Two months later he dumped me by email. I didn’t even know we were ‘going out’!

First Job

Right. No giggling when I say this. My first job, was a bush beater. You, stop sniggering there. Do you even know what one is? High five if you do! In the country, I’m a farmers girl remember, in winter when the shoots are happening, bush beaters walk through the fields, and hedges, or in my case get completely stuck in the hedges and trees, and steep hills, and thick oozy stuck in the mud, with fertilizer bags stuck to branches as ‘flags’ and hit anything that moves, to make the pheasants fly up to be shot. Bonus points if you manage to kill a rabbit with mixy it was kinder to them than to suffer, or whack a fox.

First Pay Packet? What Did You Buy With It?

Most likely chocolate. Okay. Most definitely. Chocolate and underwear. That still hasn’t changed.

First CD You Remember Buying

For years my sister used to record the top 40 songs off the radio onto a casette tape. We’d then play this over and over until we recorded the next, and tried to miss out the person on the radio talking. When it moved onto CD’s, I would just listen to hers. For years.
The first CD I actually bought was Britney Spears; Greatest Hits. You’ve got to love a bit of Britney. I’ve still got the CD somewhere. The rest was downloaded from the internet, I’ve never really bought CD’s!

First Holiday Abroad

I can’t remember. Malta perhaps. The first holiday I actually remember was Cyprus. We went when it was my birthday, I got a cabbage patch doll. Other than that, I don’t remember the holiday.

What Age Were You When You First Moved Out Of Your Parents Home

Nineteen. I would have moved out sooner but I had no where else to go. I was between homes for a long time, staying at my boyfriends at the time, or at my aunties in London. Needless to say, I just don’t like being at ‘home’. I don’t call it home now, Londons my home. Home is where the heart is.

I probably bored you with all that. I’m not that interesting really. Life experiences have taught me not to beat around the bush. Literally

So now I’m going to tag YOU.

Go on, if you haven’t done this meme yet. DO it. That’s an order. Or I’ll get my flag out.

February Sunshine Award

Feb8

Yes! @randompearlsof bringing a little bit of Sunshine into my world, and it is certainly welcome here, so thank you!

Favourite Colour:
I don’t even know. Damn it. Stuck on the first question!
Deep red, midnight blue, silver, dark purple. Depends what it is for really!

Favourite Animal:
At the monent, the hedgehog. They’re just pure genius. It’s cold, so they’ve decided to hibernate and go to sleep. Why didn’t humans think of this?! Imaging having all those prickles as well, no men would even bother messing with you!

Favourite non-alcoholic drink:
~~Vodka~~ ~~Champagne~~ ~~Wine~~ ~~Diet coke~~ No, wait. That ones okay. Yeah, diet coke. I’ll stick with that.

Facebook or Twitter:
Twitter wins. Easy. I mean come on, it has a bird. And it tweets. How bloody fantastic is that.
What have you got to show for yourself facebook? Oh, all those embarassing photos of me. *hides*
Yeah, I’ll stick with my twitter, it has all the lovely people like you *taps on your nose*

Favourite Number:
~~Sixty Nine.~~ No, I will think of something better. Ninety Six?

Favourite Day of The Week:
This is a tricky one. I quite like Friday, as it means I have managed to survive the week almost!
But then Saturdays good for the lie in, it’s a tough contender. Also great to know I don’t have to get up the next morning either. Saturday wins.

My Passion: My work. But I’m not telling you what that is. *Cuts long story short*

Getting or Giving Presents:
It depends if what I have to give is fantastic and I know they will love it. Or if I have no idea what to get, then I hate it. I like to give random gifts that I think people will like for no particular reason.

Favourite Pattern:
~~Cross-stictch~~ Leopard print of course

Favourite Flower:
I’ve only ever been bought flowers when my ex’s were grovelling and wanting me back, so I’ve never really appreciated them. When I was ickle I used to pick the rose flowers from my Grandma’s garden to make perfume, so I’ll say roses. And blossoms.

Now time to tag some lovely people and add spread the sunshine!

Hurt Or Heal
@bryony32
@podgydad

Role Models

Jan8

I mentioned last night on Twitter that Bridget Jones should be a role model for everyone.

And oh, how you disagreed.

But come on, she can wear huge granny pants, pull Hugh Grant em*swoon*/em (Yes, you disagreed with me again on that) and Colin Firth. Not doing bad for herself!

Kudos to the woman, she was brilliant at writing a diary. I had a diary when I was younger. As soon as you leave the room, family would be in there reading it. Even my dad read it. He said he didnt know what it was and wouldnt look again. The next entry was emMy dad is a bastard, my dad is a bastard, my dad is a bastard…/em So if he read it, he couldnt complain at the use of language as he promised he wouldnt read it. Genius eh.
Needless to say, I was put off writing until I discovered blogging.

But you werent very pleased with my first suggestion, so onto the second..

Pretty Woman, Vivian.

She was a prostitute, she got lucky. We all want that lucky break. For someone to see us, and notice that were beautiful. Shes emcinderfuckinrella/em in the words of Kit. Who wouldnt want to be Cinderella?

And then theres..

Belle De Jour

Strong, independent woman. She knew what she needed to do, and she did it in the best way she could, and enjoyed it. Most of all, she did it sexily.

All my role models are fictional (although some based on true stories). At least I know what they were like, and they cant change. Real role models, you could admire for years. Then something they do might stun you, and they are no longer your role model. Just some jerk. Thats years of admiration wasted.

So I want to know who your role models are, and why?

TAG!

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

Jan4

I have been tagged by the lovely @The_Last_Slayer in this 2011 meme. I’m trying to forget about 2011, so this shall be the last post about it. And you shall hear no more. Hello 2012!

1. What was your happiest event?

~~Escape to the country~~ Escaping from the country! As in the countryside.. not the whole country it’s self. I’m not that brave. I moved to London. This made me very happy, to have some of my independence back.

2. What was the saddest thing to happen?

A lot of people died last year. Too many. And too many, too young. I wrote about this the other day. Drip Drop; The Lost

3. What was the most unlikely thing to happen that actually went ahead and did?

Finding my confidence in London. And my voice. I also found out that I really am rather stubborn. Going back home for Christmas shattered me. I realise why I love it here so much now.

4. Who let you down?

Myself. Plenty of times. For just sitting around and doing nothing. I need to get out and explore, like I promised myself I would.

5. Who supported you?

My friends, they’re always there when I need them, even though the best ones are hundreds of miles away. My aunties too, I love them to pieces.

6. Tell us one thing you learned

One night stands get you no where

7. Tell us one thing that made you laugh

I can’t think of one thing particular, I have a strange sense of humour. I get it from my dad. When I left he rang me after a few weeks (he never rings me, this was a first!) and said When are you coming back? Its not fun around here anymore, there’s no one making jokes, and no one laughing at mine!

8. Tell us one thing that made you cry

Everything! I’ve had one of those years where I cry at everything. I remember at 4am after being at a club, I got in a taxi with a man, went to some shabby b&b, he went off to get some money and left me alone on the street. I had no idea where I was. I sat on the pavement and cried, and rang my friends asking what the hell to do. Not my best moment.

~~9. Tell us three things your child or children did to make you feel proud~~

10. Tell us one thing that made you proud of yourself

I found myself in the situation in a cab with a man who I was told was a ~~woman beater~~ not a very nice man. I went with him, because I was scared of him. I asked where we were going. He said back to where he lived. I said I didn’t want to sleep with him. I asked the cab driver to stop. I got out. I then went out with a stag party, but that’s a story for another day

11. Tell us one challenge you overcame

I stopped being the quiet girl. Ask my friends around here if I’m quiet, and they’ll be like HA! Yeah right. I like that.

12. Tell us three things you ~~would like~~ need to change about your life in 2011

I need to take my confidence and voice back with me to see my family. And not lose it within a day.

I need to stop this ridiculous crying. Or sort out the underlying issues which make me cry.

I need to be happy, because I should be. Which means not caring about what others think.

Now who to tag…

@Caroljs
@motherwifeme
@mothersright

Hand Me Arounds

Jan2

The lovely @motherventing tagged me in her meme Vintage Threads, thank you very much m’dear.

I’ve been thinking about this all day, what’s the oldest item of clothes I own? It’s a hard one, as when I moved I decided to bring only the basic things and buy everything else. Saves on packing Although every time the mother visits, she brings me more items I left at her house, including many of my friends clothes as well. I would have loved to have show you my T-shirt from leaving primary school at 11, with everyones scrawled messages all over it. But that is still in the wardrobe at hers.

I just had a hunt around, and I found the skinny white jeans in the deep dark bottom corner of my draws.

I’ve had these since I was about 14. They got passed around a bit. They weren’t mine for a start.
I had a friend who’s mum bought her all the latest trends, and expensive ones at that. All designer or top end high street. These are from River Island.
At 14, I could’t afford anything from there, and there was no chance my mum would buy me anything. My clothes had such designers as George, or Matalan if I were lucky. Everything else hand me downs from basically the whole village!
As my friend was given so many new clothes, I would get a few of her old things, and these jeans were one of them. The reason being she could no longer fit in them. They’re a size 6. And then nor could bloody I. Stupid puberty had made me gain a bit of weight. With a lot of jumping I could make them fit. Just. My sister however managed to get in them fine, and took them. Much to my disappointment.
When she got pregnant, the jeans were returned to me. Not as white as when they were ~~lent~~ stolen from me! Bloody sisters.
I was happy then, because I could fit into them, and she couldn’t. Although, she had a better reason than being a bit chubby.

I now have that horrible urge to try them on
*wriggle* *jump* *bang* *back flip* @£$% ^&*@! *twollop* *clatter* *smash*

Sorry about that… Ta Da!

Can just squeeeeeeeze into them. Bulging buttons, can’t move, muffin top, no idea what you mean I’ll just put these back in the bottom of the draw shall I.. yeah, good idea.

Tag! You’re it!

@The_Last_Slayer
@LoveInTheNest
@Bryony32

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