Tag Archives: arguing

Support

I know I’m a bit difficult to cope with at the moment, and some people don’t know how to react when I tell them.

I was hoping mr mm would be supportive and understanding.

I haven’t seen him in over 2 weeks and was hoping to see him tomorrow. But he’s flipped.

‘You’re whiny, immature, self centred and not remotely the strong, independent or mature girl you made out you were in those first couple of months. Instead it’s constant crap from you as if I should be throwing everything down for you’

‘Making you cry now? You fucking deserve it after all your bullshit’

‘I’m simply saying “sod you, you nasty NASTY self centred bitch”‘

‘I realise now just how selfish and self centre you are. All about you you you. Everything’s twisted to be ‘poor Little Miss’ and nasty other people – be it your Mum, sister, me..whoever.
Look in the bloody mirror, reality check needed’

‘You told her I finished with you, end of story – violin strings for poor victim Little Miss please everybody’

This is about me telling my auntie that he broke up with me twice. Over reaction?

‘Attack me and don’t expect me to sit around being supportive’

I can’t cope with him right now. I have enough going on in my life without this as well.

I’ll find that independence I once had again

Letter To Santa

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I haven’t written a letter to Santa in years. I quite miss it. Hours of looking through the Argos catalogue at toys I wanted, assessing the prices as to what Santa could afford, circling, cutting out, ripping, tearing and trying to write in my neatest handwriting as to why I deserved the present to the value of around £20.
The letter was of course then checked by my parents, for spelling and neatness non the less, and then I would help light the fire, carry the coal and wood in, sprinkle a little sugar on it (that was always the fun part) and hold newspaper across it to help it start up. When it calmed down to a nice flame, I would put my letter towards the chimney and up it would fly out the top and travel on it’s way to Santa.

Technology has changed a lot since I was little, so I’m sure if I put it on this blog his little cyber elves will be sure to find it.

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a little bit naughty this year. I’ve done a lot of things I shouldn’t have done, but none by intention. I blame the alcohol. The alcohol should be on the naughty list, and I should be on the nice list. That is how this should work. I’m sure even you get a bit cheeky after all that egg nog and mulled wine.
I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have, but thats Cupid’s fault right? No, not your reindeer, that little guy in the nappies with the bow and arrow.

I’m not asking for much this year, not even something to the value of £20.
This year I would like no arguing at Christmas, no attention seeking and tantrums from my sister, and no brother-in-law to be shoving iced cakes down my expensive dress. No mother screaming at me to do everything because no one else can be bothered, no father asking for the receipt for his Christmas presents and no one at the pub asking me how I’m getting on in London hoping to hear not well. And no one to ask why I haven’t got some charming boyfriend yet. Especially not my ex.

I would like everyone to be able to be civil to each other just for the Christmas period, then we can all go back to our own little happy lives again.

Christmas will never be as good as it was when I was little, too many people who made Christmas what it was have passed away. The only thing that would make Christmas great again would be for my own little children running around bringing back the Christmas spirit, but that’s a while off yet. So for now, peace and harmony is all I’m asking for Santa

Hope you enjoy your cookies and milk

Mistress Mummy x

P.S Merry Christmas

I’m Not Crying, I’m Just Leaking Water

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I’m not sure if everyone has days like this, or if it’s just me, but this morning I was crying. For no obvious reason. This happens to me quite a lot, and is nothing new. I spent most of my summer walking around crying, not sobbing my heart out as such, but just tears running down my face.

I would never cry on purpose, or for attention or anything like that. I hate crying. It’s embarrassing, and makes my eyes go all puffy and make up gets all over my face. Even when I’m on my own I still hate it, I feel pathetic.

As I’m on my own a lot of the time with no one to talk to, I keep everything locked up inside me so unfortunately sometimes I break. Or, just leak a little.

Mr Married man has made me cry a few times. Most of the time through no fault of his own.

First time was because he went crazy at me for falling asleep after sex. I didn’t intend to, I had been working 12 days straight pretty much 24/7 and then after finishing work went to see him, pretty shattered. I made an effort and turned up in a red see though lace dress with matching underwear and had kept away from the bedroom for as long as possible. It could have been worse, I could have fallen asleep during.
He went completely mad at me, shouted loads of nasty things about me and something along the lines of no wonder men don’t go near you, I see why you’re unfuckingdatable now and said if I didn’t get out now, he would throw me out. So I calmly got my things and left, as he stormed off down the corridor. I followed a bit behind leaving him to calm down. If you can’t work out why I’m mad at you, then I don’t want to date you anymore. You don’t have a fucking clue do you! We walked to the tube station in silence. I looked at the busy traffic rushing by, and part of me just wanted to walk straight into it. We stopped outside the tube station go then he said, but I didn’t want to. I could feel myself breaking and certainly wasn’t going to sit on the tube crying. I’m not getting the tube, I’m going for a walk I replied and continued on. He stopped me. I really didn’t think he would. He told me to get the tube, but again I refused. I looked up at him, my mistake. I broke, and the tears started down my cheeks.

The other times were my fault, my silly insecurities again.

Hopefully I’ll be able to fix this silly leak soon