Tag Archives: contraception

January 12

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January hasn’t exactly been the best start to the year. Okay, that’s a slight understatement.

New Year

Yes. I made it into 2012. That’s quite an achievement. I didn’t die for all 365 days in 2011. This years a bit tricker. 366 days to survive.
I spent the New Year alone in my room, in my party dress. Not quite the start I wanted.

Drag
First time in a gay bar, I loved it! Who wouldn’t want to spend their evening having banter with a drag queen?

Anxiety
It returned. And misery loves company, so it brought something else with it, something much worse.

Contraception
I screwed it up as usual, but on the plus side, I went to the Dr’s. So I now have a Dr’s. Which was useful for when I got cystitis. Not so useful to not have the results from 6 days ago… *runs to the bathroom*. What’s the benefit of these Dr’s again?

Rock
I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t cope. And I lost everything.

Resolutions
Pretty sure I broke most of these, and the chinese ones too

I just managed to scrape one little thing back though. And you’re not going to like it.

February is going to be a better month. I will make sure of that.

Doctor Doctor

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I put on my brave face and went to the Dr’s this morning.

When I arrived I saw the nurse who I had the introduction with, she was very nice and welcoming and made me feel a bit more at ease.

I taped in on the touch screen computer, in my doctors in the sticks we had bits of plastic with numbers half peeling off them It told me there was a 21 minute delay! Not a good start. I looked around, no where to sit. It was packed. I hate packed places.

I stood around. My name came up on the board. I felt a bit like I was in Argos when it calls you up. We don’t have a posh board in the sticks either, just a dull light. I didn’t tell me which room to go to. Not helpful. The Dr came and called me.

I told him the situations, that the other evil doctors wouldn’t give me my pills anymore and we had a little chat. He was actually quite nice. He took my blood pressure again, although I only had this done 3 days before, just to check. He had to do it 3 times, are you stressed? Yes. But that’s a story for another day.

He gave me my prescription, and said I needed to make another appointment for 3 months time for another check up then I can have more pills. Maybe if I try and book my appointment now, there may be a slot available by then.

So now I have a piece of paper. Which I somehow have to turn into my pills.

Whilst I was in the waiting room, I had the little lady with me. I said I wasn’t going to mention my occupation, so shall keep this brief. A lady was watching her and interacting. I love people who do this. I smiled at her nicely.

How old is she?
Nearly 16 months
Aww, mine would have been that age

My heart sank, and I actually felt like crying.

Some people passed, and some were called by Doctors.

She looked across at me again
I miscarried
I’m sorry, I whispered.

I could see the sadness in her eyes. What an awful thing to have to go to.

A Boy Who Loves A Girl recently shared their story of losing their baby.

It made me aware of what so many women have to go through, and that not every baby makes it to the 12 week scan.

Contraception Fail

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Someone has got it in for me this month.

I know I said I would leave it down to fate, but this is taking the piss.

To recap how much I’m failing this month:

Took 3 pills at once and threw up. That’s protection gone.

Had sex, took morning after pill. Didn’t throw it up.

Had sex, used pull out method. Only Mr Married Man didn’t pull out. Can’t take morning after pill twice in a month.

Took pills properly for 7 days, protection back.

Had sex. Few days later threw up again. Protection gone.

So I am SO close to the end of the packet, not that many of the pills stayed in my system for long. I need more pills now. I didn’t change my Dr since moving to London, so my mum posts my contraception to me. Just incase everything goes tits up and I move back home.

I rang the Drs. Receptionist always sounds grumpy. I don’t like Dr’s. Thats also probably something to do with why I didn’t change.

She said I can’t have my pills, because I need a blood pressure test and I last had one in 2010. I can’t go home for a blood pressure test. I’m screwed.

I now need to register to a Dr down here, and beg for some more pills.

I’m slightly ruining my idea of fate now. Because most of this is my fault. Or someone up there just wants me to get pregnant.

December

So in the last month of the year what have I achieved..

Joined Twitter
Made a new account on which none of my family or friends follow me. @littlemisstress You can follow me though ;)
Type and Tweet

Told Mr Married Man I loved him
Wasn’t quite as a planned, but now I say it so much he’s probably fed up of it ;)
Little Words

Took a Pregnancy Test
Yes, I know, my paranoia got the better of me!
Wind Up Merchant

Survived Christmas (including seeing the ex!)
This I feel I deserve a medal for, although, I only survived 6 days and took a train at 7.20am on the 7th day.
Ghosts Of Christmas Past

Took the Morning After Pill
Not as easy as I thought it would be.
The Morning After The Afternoon Before

Hopefully in the new year I won’t have to take any more emergency contraception and no pregnancy tests until May! But we shall see..

The Morning After the Afternoon Before

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Go on, shout it at me ‘I told you so’ I give you permission, because you did.

I was just a little bit too stubborn to listen. So at 00:38 and 2:00 am this morning there I was throwing up my whole days consumption.. of a diet coke and three pills. And swearing a little bit on twitter. My apologies.

So I’ve been messaging Mr Married Man all day about my slight mishap. So you’re saying you forgetting your pills and then throwing up isn’t fate? It’s not fate, it’s my stubbornness. I knew if I took 3 pills I’d get sick. But stupidly I still did it.

I could just not take the morning after pill and have a baby due 27th September. I could go to Paris, get engaged and get a flat with Mr Married Man.

The only thing really stopping me is my sisters wedding, and my family. He knows this. My Grandma’s health is not getting any better, and if I were to get pregnant I think it would be the end of her.

I know how much he wants us to have a baby, but he’s still telling me to take the morning after pill as he knows it’s not the right time for me. See, he’s not a bad guy after all. He even offered to pay for it.

I wish I could just stop taking pills altogether. They drive me crazy, make me cry too much and make me think stupid things. I have had a headache all day, but won’t take tablets for it, because I’ve had enough of them.

I think you know the right thing to do, so go and get the morning after pill now. We’ve got plenty of time for this baby, and when you’ve planned for it on your side

So I have the morning after pill, and going to see Mr Married Man for a chat before taking it. Plus side affects involve vommiting, so he can hold my hair back if that happens ;)

At £25 it isn’t cheap, but worth it for peace of mind, for now

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That Little Thing I Forgot..

That little thing I forgot… That would be my pills. Whoops.

I was on the ‘break’ part, so didn’t need them til today. They were in my handbag ready, then I decided I didn’t want to take the handbag so put everything into another bag. Except the pills in the zipped compartment. Bollocks.

Now I know I said if an accident happened it would be fate. Mr Married Man mentioned this when I told him I forgot them. I’m not calling me forgetting my pills as fate, I’m calling that me being a bloody idiot.

I’m returning home Wednesday morning, so I’m hoping if I take three pills then it should be fine. But maybe not.

What do you think?

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2012; New Year, New Mind

I hate new years resolutions. I can never think of anything good, or stick to it.

I wrote a post the other day, published it, looked at it again and deleted. I would never be able to stick to the things.

I asked Mr Married Man for some advice. He gave me these:

1. Stop taking contraption
2. Have sex more than once in a day with my boyfriend
3. Get pregnant asap

1. Not until May.
2. How dare I only have sex with him once when I last saw him? Possible for the first time it hasn’t been more than that.
3. Not until May.

So shall ignore his suggestions.

I wanted something that would change my outlook, rather than physical changes.

So far I have these…

*Don’t be pressured into things
*Do what makes me happy
*Don’t worry so much
*Be myself
*Smile

I shall try my best to stick to these, and perhaps add a few more along the way.

What are your New Years Resolutions? And do you think you’ll be able to stick to them?

Inspired by Mrs Slummy Mummys Anti-Resolution

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To Pill, or Not To Pill

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As I mentioned before, I am not actually a mummy (yet). But one day, I’ll get there. At the moment, I’m known as an ‘honorary mummy’ in regards to my work.

Some people start their blog when their children are a few years old, some when they’re just born, and others when they’re pregnant. I thought I’d be different, as they say, the preconception is important too!

So this is my story, from scratch.

We have now been dating 53 days, So nearly two months. And after a few weeks of joking about, we’re onto the subject of having a baby. Now I know how crazy this sounds, I do. I am not some completely insane woman out to get pregnant by any man. Most of the time, he just likes winding me up, so I’ll wind him up back about it.

During sex last, he said ‘promise me you’ll stop taking the pill’. I of course said no. He said he just gets caught up in the whole manly instinct of wanting to impregnate women – only me, I might add. His manly instincts are to start a family, and he’s decided I’m the one he wants to with and he has never felt like this about anyone before.

Do you not think it would be amazing to be lying in bed, with me up against you, hands on our bump feeling our baby grow? You see, I’m in a difficult situation here because he’s right, that would be amazing. But I can’t just say ‘lets go for it’, because although my heart says yes, that would make The Fairytale come true, I think with my head not cock testosterone.

So for now, he has a private blog post to read explaining the reason why, for now, I can’t say yes. No matter how much I really wish I could.

He hasn’t read it yet, he’s busy at the moment. Honestly, I am actually scared about him reading it. I’m scared he’ll hate me for it. But we shall see.

I do believe in fate, and destiny, and all that mambo jambo though. So I said if we were to have an ‘accident’ (and I mean a real one, I would never mess up my pills on purpose or deceive him), then it’s meant to be and we will both be very happy it’s happened, if not, then we were meant to wait.

So the decision is now down to fate, lets see what it brings