Tag Archives: london

Loop The Loop

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Okay.. So a slight issue with my sex therapy plan. I have a feeling that handcuffing myself to the bed wouldn’t be much fun really.

I’m going to have to re think this.

I could just go out every weekend and have sex with strangers. Looking back, I’m not quite sure how I managed that myself.. to have the confidence to get dressed up every weekend, pull a guy, go back with him and then conduct the walk of shame in the morning. That does take a bit of balls really.

The thought of having to do that again scares me a bit. It didn’t at the time. If I tell my friends stories of my nights out they look at me in horror at the things I did. The dangerous situations. I guess that’s what puts me off a bit.

The first guy I went back with I didn’t even sleep with …okay, I may have given him a blowjob as we had no condoms… but I spent the whole way to his asking if he was going to murder me. I like to be sure of these things.

This weekend I’m going to Mayfair club again. As I mentioned previously it was the first club I went to when I came to London, but it shut down soon after. It’s opened again. I’ve been in London a year now. I feel like I’ve completely gone full loop. Right back to the beginning.

Right back to when I had confidence, and really short dresses.

Same Parents, Different Upbringings

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I like to get a taxi home from the city. I don’t like standing in the cold waiting for buses when I could be in my warm bed.

I, of course, pay for my own taxis and refuse to take Mr married mans money. This got to the point where we once had a money fight as I got out and tries to give me back the money I have for the taxi an I threw it back at him several times. I’m stubborn.

Wise to this, he gave the taxi driver the money first last night before I got in the taxi. I will pay him back at some point.

As I got in the taxi, the driver handed me the twenty pound note.

Who’s that then, your boyfriend?

Yes

He loves you he does, I can tell. That’s nice that is. That he gave you the money for the taxi.

I told him not to, I replied.

Ah but he did anyway. That’s what loves about.

He then went on to tell me his life story, and more about love being on the inide what counts and so on.

He was on his second wife.

This always surprises me, the amount of people who are on their second marriage.

On my dads side of the family, I’ve actually lost count of the amount of times my aunt and uncle have remarried.
On my mums side, they’re all still married to their first partners.

So I completely see both sides of this.

I do wonder if a lot of people rush into getting married. Although of course, some marriages just don’t work out, or you grow apart.

Marriage doesn’t really appeal to me. I’d rather have a fabulous diamond on my finger, and the promise of being together always. I don’t like fancy big weddings, and the thought of people staring at me as I walk down then aisle scares me. My dad nearly fainted at his wedding. I think I’d be the same.

Maybe I’ll change my mind about this one day, but I doubt it.

My parents are paying for the majority of my sisters wedding. I just told her I’m not getting married, so can I have the cheque now please? She laughed and said no. Damn. This is like me missing out on money as I didn’t go to uni. Good thing I’m not all about the money like my sister, she knows I was joking about the cheque and can support myself without replying on others. Same parents, different upbringings.

Shoesday Tuesday; Flower

This week I have chosen my black stilettoes. They’re open toe, and have a big black flower just above.

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Sorry my photos are so rubbish this week, my phone doesn’t like taking photo’s of dark things. it’s the bad lighting!

I’ve lost these shoes more times than I can count. I know, how could I possibly lose shoes? On my first night out in London, I lost one at a bus stop. Didn’t even realise until I got on the bus! It did lead to a date with the poor guy I asked to get it for me though ;)
On several other occasions men just try to steal them. I’ve even cried over these shoes as someone stole them and refused to give me them back.

Note to self: Keep shoes on feet. Drink less.

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All Dressed Up And No Place To Go

Caution: Contains grumpiness

It’s New Years Eve. Or so I’m told. Quite frankly, I lost count of what day’s what ages ago. Just a blur. I know I should be out celebrating though, and I’m not. I don’t feel like I have anything to celebrate.

The last year has been a bit surreal, and I welcome the new year, I do.

Mr Married Man keeps saying that 2012 will be our year, that we will get everything sorted out and be together. So this is they year the secrets start to come out, a careful puzzle piece at a time to build up an ideal picture to everyone else, and only we will know about the cracks in it.

He’s away at the moment with his wife at a wedding, and won’t be back until tomorrow. So ‘our year’ and he’s spending it with his wife. Our year, yeah right. Not a great start to it.

I didn’t mind that he’s away as I was going out with the girls. But the one organising it has decided to stay with her family longer so is out of London. I rang round my other friends and they’re all staying in with their families too. I couldn’t want to get away from my family, they bring out all my insecurities and make me into a crumbling wreck.
I can’t wait until I have my own family.

As soon as I got back to London I saw Mr Married Man, and every day since. But today is the day I wanted him most. Who am I meant to kiss at Midnight now?

I’m fed up of being grumpy now. So in 2012 I’m going to be positive. Ish. For a while perhaps. I’ll try, I promise.