Merry Christmas everyone!

Completely at the point where Christmas is just boring. Its just another day. But with some pretty presents to make you smile.

As my sisters family don’t come over until 4pm as her fiancé is working, we go to the pub at lunchtime. Sounds good right? Everyone’s in the festive spirit and buying rounds, no money needed
Would be great, apart from I used to work at the pub. I dated my manager for over a year. He treated me like shit, and I couldn’t escape him as I liked to go socialise in the local pub. I also worked at the nursery in the village and if I broke up with him he would leave notes on my car and always text me or turn up at my house.
He was in a lot of debt, lived at home still, lost his driving licence to drink driving, didnt own a passport and was a dealer. These things I didn’t find out til later. Oh, and the drinking cider from dusk til dawn (insisting this isn’t alcoholism?)
He also had a lot of insecurities. I wasn’t allowed to text my friends, or go out with them. He threw my phone against the wall so it smashed. I had to drive us everywhere. He never gave me any petrol money or said thank you. I always had to go see him, he would never come to me. (unless begging for me back)
I finished him numerous times, but he would worm his way back in. If I went to his parents house to get my things, he locked the doors and wouldn’t let me out. Trap me in his room and not let me out until I agreed to get back with him.
London was my escape, few days before I left I put all his things in a bin bag, made him come to my house so he couldn’t trap me and told him it was over. That was it. I ran away, but it was all I could do.

The thing with living in the country is that people don’t like you leaving. They told me I wouldn’t like London, that I wouldn’t fit in. Honestly, I don’t fit in, in the country!

I came back earlier in the year and I went to the pub with my friend. I wasn’t yet forgiven for leaving. The pub landlady glared at me and disappered, the landlord barely spoke to me, and the ex ignored me. I later had a text saying ‘Thursday wasn’t fair’ at 3am. I didn’t have the number. What wasn’t fair? ‘It wasn’t fair’. Then I realised it was the ex.

Today I survived. I put on my new dress and heels and drank as many drinks as I could flutter my eyelashes at the men. His parents and brother were there. I knew I should talk to them. I couldn’t bring myself to it. I spoke to both the landlady and landlord and they were fine with me this time (possibly just both very drunk). The ex was behind the bar. Thankfully all my drinks were brought to me.

As we got home, I looked at my mum. give it a few minutes. She looked at me confused. My phone beeped, here we go. The ex.

‘I’m sorry for not even saying hello to you today I just cudnt bring maself to look at you wud just make me cry sorry’

I’ve been gone 10 months, and he still can’t look at me without crying. I either completely broke his heart, or he’s just really pathetic. Most likely the latter.

I replied with what my mum told me to write (because otherwise I would have probably been a bit more harsh) but generally just wished him and his family a merry Christmas. I thought he would leave it at that.

A miss u so much

I didn’t reply

8 hours later..

I’m sorry I eva hurt you

I’m still not replying.

I deleted his number when I left. I do not see why he hasn’t done the same.

I told Mr Married Man that I have to see my ex on Christmas day. He asked how it went, so I told him what he text me. sounds like he’s still really into you. He prob realises now what he’s lost… Too late I’m all yours, don’t worry I’m not worried, I know you love me <3

I’m expecting a few more pointless texts in the early hours.

I’m now happy in a relationship with Mr Married Man. Not quite as perfect as it could be, but it will be. I miss him. Hopefully next Christmas I will be sharing with him, not the glares from the ex.

I hope your Christmasses were more fun than mine!