Tag Archives: wife

Guilt

20120114-170605.jpg

Today Mr Married Man asked me if I feel guilty.

I know I should, but honestly. Not really. I feel sorry for her, for the situatuion they’re in, and that they haven’t done anything to resolve it.

Mr Married Man said he had suggested Marriage Counselling to her before, but she refused. He is now going to insist that they go before the divorce.

I’m always intrigued as to what his wife is like. Wouldn’t you be too? I will always ask questions about her, and I think he gets a bit upset talking about her sometimes.

I know I shouldn’t ask, I’m just curious. I want to know if we’re similar, or completely different. Personality, looks.

We were talking about naturally good looking celebrities, I suggested Britney Spears. My wife looks a bit like Britney Spears he said. She must be really pretty then! She hasn’t got her figure though, she’s put on a few pounds he replied, then looked at me. Do you want a nose job now? Yes please.

All Dressed Up And No Place To Go

Caution: Contains grumpiness

It’s New Years Eve. Or so I’m told. Quite frankly, I lost count of what day’s what ages ago. Just a blur. I know I should be out celebrating though, and I’m not. I don’t feel like I have anything to celebrate.

The last year has been a bit surreal, and I welcome the new year, I do.

Mr Married Man keeps saying that 2012 will be our year, that we will get everything sorted out and be together. So this is they year the secrets start to come out, a careful puzzle piece at a time to build up an ideal picture to everyone else, and only we will know about the cracks in it.

He’s away at the moment with his wife at a wedding, and won’t be back until tomorrow. So ‘our year’ and he’s spending it with his wife. Our year, yeah right. Not a great start to it.

I didn’t mind that he’s away as I was going out with the girls. But the one organising it has decided to stay with her family longer so is out of London. I rang round my other friends and they’re all staying in with their families too. I couldn’t want to get away from my family, they bring out all my insecurities and make me into a crumbling wreck.
I can’t wait until I have my own family.

As soon as I got back to London I saw Mr Married Man, and every day since. But today is the day I wanted him most. Who am I meant to kiss at Midnight now?

I’m fed up of being grumpy now. So in 2012 I’m going to be positive. Ish. For a while perhaps. I’ll try, I promise.

Friends

20111227-225151.jpg

I saw my lovely friends from home this week, my saviours from my family. Of course, our chats are all about sex and relationships. You can tell I’ve been gone. One friend put her jaw out from giving blow jobs and looked at me very confused as I explained that you’re meant to use your hand as well. Another said his girlfriend tried to put her legs on his shoulders whilst having sex stood up as they’d seen on the karma sutra cards I gave them last Christmas, so I suggested they tried it laying down. Sometimes I do wonder about my friends!

Trying to explain the Married Man situation was difficult. I know how crazy it sounds myself, so explaining it is impossible.

he’ll leave you and move onto the next girl he likes, if he’s cheating on her he’ll cheat on you

I know they’re just worried about me, but this really isn’t like that. I think theres a difference between cheating, and just moving on. If he was still with his wife and having sex with her, I’d keep away.

I said what my friend said to Mr Married Man, hoping he’d set them straight. I love you so be nice beeeeatchs :p <3

This didn’t go down well. he loves you? Hasn’t it only been like 2 months?! Geez, you fall for anything that gives you compliments don’t you?

I couldn’t exactly reply with, ‘oh no, we’re really serious, we’re gonna get engaged, have a baby and live together’… Woudnt go down too well either.
I do really love him though. I thought I was crazy too. No one loves someone this soon. But then I thought, if you’re with someone for months, how can you not know sooner? I’m not saying it was love at first sight, but after a month I was cuddled up to him with him kissing my head and I just thought ‘I love him’. I didn’t say it then obviously, I put it off as much as I could until one day I burst. Call me naive all you like, as I’m 12 years younger than him, but he felt the same. He said he felt stupid to have thought that he was in love with his wife as he didn’t feel as happy as he does now and has such strong feelings for me. So I’m not just the crazy one.

My friends are still adjusting to the ‘married’ part, so anything else would be too much for them. Only one knows the true story, and is allowed to read this blog. It’s a bit scary her seeing an insight into the honest truth, but reassuring at the same time.

I may tell them a bit more as time goes on, but at the moment, my family don’t even know I’m seeing anyone, and I don’t want them to find out.

Nice Not Nasty!

I’m guessing I’ve failed on my task of blogging nice things about Mr Married Man as a few have commented saying he sounds like an asshole. Oops!

Don’t worry, he isn’t. I know I don’t make him sound great at the best of times. But he is.

Today we met up for lunch. I was at my aunties in the morning, and he had an interview. (He is now redundant as of last Friday!) So we agreed to meet up after. My auntie had a few things she wanted me to sort out on her computer for her, so I helped her first before meeting him.
This made me 50 minutes late. So Mr Married Man had to doss around the tube station for 50 minutes on his own. Did he complain at all? Nope, he just greeted me with a big kiss.

We went to my favourite pub (I love pubs, they remind me of the country), and had lunch, a bottle of wine, and then some more! Well, it is Christmas after all ;)

They say time flies when you’re having fun… After four and a half hours cuddling in the pub, Mr Married Man had to go for drinks in the city. But four and a half hours being cuddled and told how much you’re loved isn’t bad.

20111220-203014.jpg

As I mentioned about The Deadline I decided I wanted to go to Paris. I mentioned this when we first started dated, and have brought it up at every opportunity possible since. Of course there’s always the excuse of the wife, the business and the redundancy. After Christmas I have two holiday days left to use up before March. A long weekend in Paris ;) If I have my heart set on something, I won’t stop until I’ve achieved it. I want to go to Paris, and that is that. Seriously, I never used to be this stubborn, but I quite like it!
Let’s plan to go to Paris in late Jan baby. I’ll need to work it out and it depends on the new job
So providing he gets this job, and is able to get the time off, we can go. If not, he shall have a disappointed Mistress to deal with!

Its the Time of Year, For Shopping!

20111210-160234.jpg

The best thing about Christmas has to be the late night shopping! As soon as I finished work last night I was straight out with the girls and heading to BlueWater, still in my scruffy clothes.

I needed to buy Mr Married Man a Christmas present. I’m going home for Christmas, and he’s going to his parents to play happy families with his wife.

I love buying presents for boyfriends. But starting off is always the hardest part. Men are much harder to buy for than women for a start, and then there’s the fact he’s married. It needs to be something he could have bought himself, so not to arouse suspicion. Has to be something his wife won’t notice could be from another woman.

I didn’t know where to start. I asked him what he would like, Something inexpensive that has meaning and shows how you feel about our relationship. Erm, what? Who on earth said men were simple? I had an idea of what to get him.
Then there’s always the problem of what if I spend too little, I would hate that. I don’t mind spending too much. So I asked about budget, don’t go mad, wasn’t helpful, I needed a figure, £30. What?! I know I don’t earn much, but I can stretch to a bit more than that. I had already got him a scarf he said he liked, and that was £10 (down from £45), so leaving £20? No chance. So I bought what I wanted, and slightly exceeded the limit. Good thing I had the girls with me to help advise, as well as the sales people.
Then there’s all the small little things that go with the main present right, the novelties? You need those of course. Although, they may not be subtle enough.

I’m also slightly curious as to that he will get me, and whether he will stick to £30. He mentioned either a bracelet or a necklace, I dismissed his idea of a bracelet, I have a few expensive ones that I already don’t wear as they annoy me. I was then thinking, what is he going to get his wife?! What if he buys us the same thing? Will he spend the same on us, or more on her? And what is she going to buy him? I could always hope for divorce papers…

Miss Homewrecker

20111210-115753.jpg

We’ve been talking about him getting a divorce recently. He brings this up 99% of the time with a long list of reasons as to why it’s difficult, the financial aspect, and the infidelity. Which I presume shall not be mentioned in the divorce. I have no idea how these things work.

I would never tell him I want him to get a divorce, I always say it is completely his decision between him and his wife. I don’t want anything to do with that. If they were happily married, I’d have stayed well away, but they weren’t really together, as he put it.

Of course I want him to though, not so that I can have him, but just so that they can move on with their lives. I don’t understand as to how you can be in a loveless, non physical relationship for a year and not think, fuck this! Surely she must want to move on as well?

Mr Married Man then referred to me as Miss Homewrecker :p. I know he’s joking, he then said There isn’t one to wreck, theres a house.

It just made me think though, why is the Mistress always the one who’s to blame? If your marriage doesn’t work out then try and fix it, if not, move on. If you break your favourite vase, would you keep the broken pieces, or go buy another one? I know it’s not that simple, but in my mind it is. There are no children involved, I wouldn’t have gone near either if there were. They’ve been married two years, and haven’t had sex in a year. Surely thats grounds for divorce enough?